Okay, no one will want to read this, but please take 2 minuets from your lives to read it. It would mean a lot if you did.
I know this is a bad photo of me… But that’s me and my ex, Alex. I don’t know what to call him because we broke up about 3 weeks ago. We still treated each other the same and our feelings for each other hadn’t gone. I met him on August the 7th 2011, a few weeks after we met we were pretty much a couple.
It was hard because I’m only 14, and he’s 18 so I had to keep it from everyone. I saw him nearly every weekend and some days after school which was as much as I could, but not enough.
He wasn’t happy with his life. He left home at 16, so he moved in with his friends, finished school and then moved down to Wellington and went to university for a year. When he finished his year at uni he moved back up to Auckland to be closer to me, his dad and grandparents.
He wasn’t happy at all. He told me that if he hadn’t met me then he would have ended his life months earlier. He started drinking a lot every weekend and when he drunk, he started treating me badly, he told me how he really felt. One night, he drunk 1 litre of vodka as well as other alcohol… He nearly died, he told me he thought he was going to die and it was the happiest moment of his life. He said things like that to me which made me feel awful.
On Tuesday the 3rd of April, 2012 I went to Australia to spend a few weeks with my dad who lives over here. When I landed I had a text from him saying the reason he was so distant the previous day was because he tried overdosing on Sunday night, but he failed. I then replied telling him I loved him, and that if he was gone when I got back home, I would be wondering if I wanted to live or not… I then had a text from him saying “Hi’m sorry Kate. Thank you.” and I started freaking out.. I then got a few more texts from him that I think he sent when he was doing something… I asked him what he had done and he said nothing, he said he hadn’t taken anything and he wasn’t planning on it. But I got some more messages from him…. Then he was gone. It wasn’t until Thuesday the 5th when he was found. He took his own life because he thought no one cared.
He lost the battle with depression, he should have stayed, it would have gotten better. He promised me he would never leave me but, he’s gone now, and I feel as if I have no one. He has had hundreds of posts onto his wall on Facebook, so everyone cared. His family is in shock, they aren’t coping at all. He thought no one cared, when everyone did.
I doubt anyone will read this as it is long and shit… But please, everyone, if you’re ever thinking about ending your life or harming yourself, please message me… Whether you;ve been called fat, ugly, a slut, a bitch or anything else horrible like that, it will get better. You’re all beautiful and no one deserves to go through the pain that I am going through now as I have lost someone I love.
This photo was taken the last time I saw Alex, the 31st of March 2012. It was the last photo that was ever taken of him. I hope you’re happy Alex, where ever you are. I love you, and I always will. I miss you so much already and it has only been a few days… I still check my phone for messages from you saying “Yeah sorry I haven’t spoken to you in a while babe. My internets been down” but, I’ve had nothing and I know you’re gone forever. Alex, you probably wouldn’t have wanted me to say any of that, but no one deserves to feel the way I feel at the moment. Please everyone, lets lower the suicide rates. It will get better. Rest In Peace Alex <3 18.05.93 - 03.04.12
beauty queen :(r.i.p beautifulForever Reblog.
R.i.p Olivia. You beautiful young soul.
May her rest in peace. Everyone should watch this video, it has a strong message.
Only tumblr can give me feels about math…
^
why.
crying.
I feel like this could accurately describe some ships I’ve shipped.
Fucking math feels
And whats even worse is regular ol’ intersecting lines
They meet once and grow farther apart forever.
Parallel lines have a lot in common, too.
;-;
This is why no one likes Math…
omfg.
This girl. This beautiful, amazing, funny girl, committed suicide. She was probably one of my best friends on here. She always had the funniest things to say, but she was always putting herself down. She was perfect. She was amazing. I can’t express how much I am going to miss her or talking to her. I truly can’t. I just hope that more people will start realizing that they are important, that they are big deals. That someone cares, and they shouldn’t leave so soon.
rip Casey Jane.<3
Reblog this if you’ve ever cut yourself. Reblog this if you have ever starved yourself. Reblog this if you have ever tried to kill yourself. Reblog this if you have ever felt like you are not good enough. Reblog this if you’ve been called fat. Reblog this if you’ve been called ugly, no matter how many notes this gets i will message every single one of you.
“Because you are more than selling yourself short, more than worrying how you’ll go about doing any one thing. By being who you are, you are already beautiful and special. You are more than beautiful and special. Have faith. Forget the mirror. Forget what everything around you tells you to be. Be who you are.”
